One foot out the door.
One of my bosses asked me if I could get something done by early next week. I told her that I didn't think I would be in next week :)
Hee Hee Hee!
I am really psyched to get some time to myself. A little dedicated me time. Not that I am 80 years old and speaking from experience but personal time is something you have to schedule in this life. Otherwise you will entwine yourself between family, work, health and fun. Of course none of those things are as real when you can't be yourself.
As I leave this cold house, I am expecting to create a new one. My apartment will become my place. No longer shared with people that live different lives, my apartment should give me a sense of calm that I have not experienced ever. I might suggest that one year in high school I had a single room but it wasn't really mine. We couldn't lock the door when inside.
Now I could lock the door and never open it. Ughh I am getting depressed trying to write hermit ramblings. The prospect scares me. What is to stop me from shutting everyone out? I already shut people out very well. I am unaware of the severity of my situation.
Not to mention why solitude and boredom scares me the most. Chemicals. You don't have to have a PhD to know that boredom is the worst thing for substance abuse. While I may be leading a sober lifestyle, that could change in an instant. Cunning Baffling Powerful.
I am worried and scared. This great transition with all its potential has some deadly pitfalls. So complicated yet so simple.
Hee Hee Hee!
I am really psyched to get some time to myself. A little dedicated me time. Not that I am 80 years old and speaking from experience but personal time is something you have to schedule in this life. Otherwise you will entwine yourself between family, work, health and fun. Of course none of those things are as real when you can't be yourself.
As I leave this cold house, I am expecting to create a new one. My apartment will become my place. No longer shared with people that live different lives, my apartment should give me a sense of calm that I have not experienced ever. I might suggest that one year in high school I had a single room but it wasn't really mine. We couldn't lock the door when inside.
Now I could lock the door and never open it. Ughh I am getting depressed trying to write hermit ramblings. The prospect scares me. What is to stop me from shutting everyone out? I already shut people out very well. I am unaware of the severity of my situation.
Not to mention why solitude and boredom scares me the most. Chemicals. You don't have to have a PhD to know that boredom is the worst thing for substance abuse. While I may be leading a sober lifestyle, that could change in an instant. Cunning Baffling Powerful.
I am worried and scared. This great transition with all its potential has some deadly pitfalls. So complicated yet so simple.
posted by Infiniteloop at 5:04 PM
2 Comments:
Hee hee. Indeed.
Check your email this evening. My friend is in surgery today and I will be at the hospital until I know he is safely in "recovery".
The moment I get home, I will write.
Happiness you!
Living alone can be a wonderful thing. Solitude doesn't have to be boring or lonely. What a beautiful chance to learn more about yourself, and be selfish for a while. :)
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